Ms Jiang Lai?

What. The. Hell.

Seriously, WHAT THE HELL?

Basically, this relief teacher – Ms Jiang Lai, dished out a whole lot of generalizations on her blog (in horrific English, no less), comparing the date-worthiness of boys in different schools.

Really? Really now? When you look like this:

I’m sorry to say, choices are not something you should be bothered with. You should worry about whether you can actually get a date.

Right. That was bitchiness on her level.

While Ms Jiang Lai has an acutely misguided sense of self, aggravating grammar, and no sense of social awareness, the only proper way to sum up her character is this –


Completely and undoubtedly dumb. I don’t know what in the world she ‘studied’ in Reeds, because it had in no way contributed to her presented state of intelligence. Neither can I understand how she got the job as a relief.

Doesn’t she realize that

a) While her claims are somewhat ubiquitous perceptions of the Singapore public, she didn’t have to beef on the generalization. Neither did she have to phrase it in such a disparaging (yet groundless) manner, which will inevitably lead to backlash.

If she were an AQ question, I will write just two words for my answer: Unfounded generalization.

Everything she says is flawed because her Lilliputian mind cannot comprehend the idea of multiplicity. To Ms Jiang Lai, if one ACSI boy were to be hot, then all of them are. If one RI boy were to have bony legs and body odour, the whole school conforms. In her world, there exist no nuances, no exceptions. Everything has to be in broad categories because that is all Ms Jiang Lai’s intellectual capacity can manage. So she does what she does best, GENERALIZE – and then compound them into what she probably finds to be very clever, astute observations.

An example. ‘Poor. Cheena. Dun dare to get friggin drunk like dufu.’ This is her description of HCI boys. While HCI boys are quite a bunch of Neanderthals – I will never label them cohesively as ‘poor’. Also, if I hailed from the great communist motherland as Ms Jiang Lai did, I would not use the term ‘cheena’ derogatorily on others. Because HOLY SHIT. YOU. ARE. FROM. CHINA. If anything, I respect the Chinese for their allegiance to their motherland. You, Ms Jiang Lai, apparently have no sense of self. Nor shame.

The fact that you compared a drunkard to DU FU tells me your knowledge of getting tipsy is probably limited to your Tang poem personas basking around by the Yellow River drinking wine and chasing concubines. So why are you, oh proud comrade of the great china, dissing your motherland? Please don’t give your whole ‘i’m hot stuff and i booze and many guys want my hot ass’ crap. You have no right to.

Which brings us to our next point.


I don’t have a problem with people being ugly – I repeat, I don’t care if you look like a cross-breed between iggy pop and a mole rat. But it pisses me off when you – LOOKING THE WAY YOU DO – truly believe you’re on a standard high enough for your judgement of others. No. You are not.

Perhaps you have not realised after thirty-odd years of living (again raising queries about your IQ hor), but you are in fact, not very good-looking. And because you have no qualms categorising entire SCHOOLS on their state of ugliness, then neither will I restrain my views on your fugliness. Which cannot be properly described with words as a picture can, so behold:

c) Why are you a teacher?

You are morally decadent (judging students.. PUBLICLY, wth?), stupid (as we have already established), and – basically the antipode to what a teacher should be. Oh by the way did I mention your English is horrendous? Well yeah it is.


What in the world is this? Vaguely I can detect your undertaking of ‘sarcasm’. But word of advice, Ms Jiang Lai – sarcasm only works when you have properly mastered the language you’re employing to exercise it. At first I thought – OH WOW YAY, this is exciting. Someone standing up against the administration again. Lol sarcasm lol.

After the second paragraph, however, my conclusion is that you have achieved a feat of what I call


That’s right. In your feeble-minded endeavour to strike up against authority, you’ve failed not only miserably but unconsciously. Throughout the letter, you present yourself as a huge joke – alternatively self-lauding and self-deprecating to the most futile of usage.

Ms Jiang Lai. I have never seen such a hilarious attempt at trying to overturn authority (which is not a very difficult task for anyone with a sense of humour and/or reasonable intelligence [neither of which you seem to possess]). The result is pitiable, but so very very amusing. In fact, being a Hwa Chong student, this is one of the few times I’ve seen a failed attempt at undermining the staff – and it’s almost as amusing as the converse.

I mean, REALLY. ‘Master of the Troll Clan’. So subtle of you, Ms Jiang Lai. So sophisticated, so mature, so telling of your education at Reeds. That is so reminiscent of kids at my CIP calling each other Poopy Pants and Lesbo Tortoise, and even then they sound more effective than ‘MASTER OF THE TROLL CLAN’.

e) WHY. Why do you have to openly proclaim your affiliation with SNGS?

Firstly let me clarify that she is the minority of SN girls with questionable intellect and some weird social affliction. Whatever she claims is NOT NOT NOT representative of the SN community. Neither do we support her insinuations regarding girls of other schools (probably arising from her diminutive social circle). While YEAHHHH okay, SN girls are kinda awesome – but also in us are a modest propriety that will in no way endorse her very painful-to-read exaltations about SN girls. YO MS JIANG LAI. The traits you listed, while true, should be self-explanatory – by spelling them out and throwing them in the faces of others, you offset the truthfulness and razed SN’s rep. Thanks a lot, you and your subversive, witty, honest, public bawling. I’m very not proud of having you as part of the SN community kthnx.


Another question, have you ever considered what all these boys you’ve implicated in your blog post think of YOU? Hurhurhur. Because if you did consider the things that’ll be said about you, I think you’ll quail in a corner and never come out where the sun doth shine. You poor thing. :-(


23 thoughts on “Ms Jiang Lai?”

  1. I’m from SN too and don’t know a single person like her who came from there.

    There is no distinction of which secondary school you came from after you go to JC and university. Everyone mixes with and are friends with everyone else and none of us feels the lines are drawn at sec school. This is especially so for those who go overseas for their undergrad.

    I have very close female friends from RGS, MGS, SCGS, KC, IJ Toa Payoh to Crescent. I’ve had boyfriends from RI, TCHS (both produce smart, witty boys, the RI ones tend to have a sharp intellectual sense of humor that’s extremely sexy) mainly and dated a few ACS guys casually (generally well spoken, nice, friendly).

    Anyway I don’t know which rock this crazy troll has lived under but her experience is miles apart from most people? And she definitely doesn’t represent SN in anyway.

    BTW Ms Jiang if you are reading this, I married a Chinese High boy. He’s very smart, funny, tall and rich and he would not even give you a second look if you knelt on the streets and begged him to.

    I think this person is either a troll or some kind of weird social recluse since her experience of life after high school is so vastly different from everyone else’s!

  2. If she wrote the way you do, her post would be the joke (in a good sense), not her.

    P.S. I feel this urge to identify myself as an SN alumi too, after reading your post. It was an awesome read. I had a good laugh:)

  3. Well sod. As a HC college student, I can assure the community out there that the Hwa Chong spirit stands strong and we are all highly amused by Ms Jiang Lai’s foolishness. I’m appalled that such a person can even exist lol.

  4. I’m also a former SN girl. I chanced upon your blog after google-ing for Jiang Lai to find out more about this infamous lady.

    I am horrified and sad to learn that she was from SN (or so she claims). You are right, this lady is devoid of normal social experiences. I suspect she might be bipolar or mentally unsound. I read this lady’s blog and find that nothing she writes makes any sense. In fact I was trying to describe to my mum the things she wrote and realised I couldn’t express myself coherently because in the first place I don’t even get what exactly she is trying to say! It’s just a lot of biased and senseless personal attacks.

    After SN, I went on to Hwa Chong and I must say that many of the TCHS guys I met there are gentlemanly and intelligent in many ways. It is therefore very narrow-minded and unfair to generalise people based on some lofty stereotypes of their schools. Stereotypes are just a convenient way for people to categorize other people, when in reality, people are unique. Therefore, it is nearly impossible to categorize people into specific stereotypes.

    I applaud your courage in this blog post. You are a highly intelligent and perceptive individual. Am proud that you were an SN girl :)

  5. thank you to whoever wrote this. you were extremely polite, unlike how that person writes. I think she craves for attention too much. In my opinion, we should ignore her. This will thus prove that her stupid remarks and insulting posts do not give her any fame.

  6. I feel rather overwhelmed by the support SNGS girls has from one another:)

    I was from SN, and subsequently HC. I believe that not a single SN girl out there is impressed by her if we uphold the SNGS values we had. And frankly speaking she has the entire HWACH population furious and incensed at her.

    Let’s just dismiss her as another mad, ranting woman. She diminishes our reputation more with each second of extra attention paid to her.

  7. Omg, I’d give you a million thumbs and toes ups if I could. I’m a J3 from Hwach, and this post of yours is the best thing I’ve ever read! You totally pwned her entire pathetic existence, so kudos to you!

    (And yes, Jianglai really is an ugly piece of __)

  8. Your attention to detail regarding outward appearances is commendable.

    Perhaps I shall generalise now, and claim that all HCI people judge books by their covers, because the cover is all they need to see, not that covers are a bad yardstick to go by.

    Slightly more seriously, while I have not seen the original post, generalisations arise for reasons. Statistics are important, and are ever even more important when numbers get larger and larger, or would you be in the camp that says 24.46% of all statistics are made up, or limited in use? To me, claiming that ‘generalisations are generalisations’ is the same as saying ‘This object is cold; its temperature must be low.’

    Personally attacking with THAT kind of statement is not very exciting.

    I also do not comprehend ‘dissing your motherland.’ If the source I come from is not where the sun shines, should I be proud of it?

  9. haha i think she’s hilarious! Plus I don’t really understand why one person’s opinion can cause so much ruckus. Who cares what she thinks?? WHO GIVES A CRAP, she’s one person outta a million. Just let her talk and i’m sure it’ll just go away like how everything else does.

  10. Well, I was from SNGS and went to an American university after my O levels, but not on financial aid like her. I married a Chinese High boy who went to Imperial College after Hwa Chong.

    Btw, I was reading about her on Asiaone, and a resourceful guy managed to dig out her old blog posts which detailed her whines about having been rejected by both LSE and UCL. It’s so terribly hilarious, I laughed so hard.

    My ucas app status changed just now and am I surprised or what I got rejected by LSE. The truth is, ever since I got rejected by University College London, I knew it was going to be a ride downhill. Sigh. Of course I’m sad, who won’t be? But oh well, at least I can heave a sigh of relief and not hold my breath in anticipation.

    I really hope that one of my US schools will accept me… Obviously I really want Chicago but you know what, Nicholas Sparks’ mum is right… what you want and what you get are two entirely different things.
    Of course, her current blog conveniently fails to mention these rejections, only stating that she has received a “scholarship” to be an UNDERGRADUATE at the “top PhD producing liberal arts college from the US”. Please do not be confused by her use of words. “PhD producing” does not qualify her as a PhD candidate

    Oh by the way, when she writes “scholarship” she actually means FINANCIAL AID:”

  11. No one is measured on sec-school lines after they proceed to university.

    But I do notice that the people who study in local universities tend to be more hung up on this. The Singaporeans in overseas universities are definitely more exposed and enlightened, and more worldly. This ugly airhead is either a sad exception or a troll hungry for attention and blog hits. Loser.

  12. An extremely well written dissertation of her mental faculties and physical shortcomings. After looking at her photograph ( a most painful experience) and her attempts at sentence construction, I do understand why some acs boys went out with her. Being an acsian myself (alumni, but still acsian) we were trained to be gentlemen and to have compassion on the less fortunate; hence I applaud those few comrades who sacrificed themselves on the altar of sympathy…. May their trauma ease with the passage of time. Amen

  13. Her English is dreadful — there is a great deal of mother tongue interference, ie she is writing in (and probably speaks) Chinglish. It’s very disrespectful of her to diss Singaporeans, considering our country has given her and her parents a home. If Singapore is so lousy, why didn’t she just stay in China? We certainly don’t need her and don’t want her here. Her values show in her writing, she seems bitter and unhappy. Hardly surprising, with an attitude like that, she invites trouble. If anyone has given her a hard time, it’s because she’s asked for it. Or maybe she’s just frus over her looks, which is not surprising. She needs a porter to carry those bags under her eyes…

  14. Hi baby,

    I’m including you in my defamation suit.
    I am being backed by LKY n Cabinet.

    Please be prepared to pay damages. Or, get decorated with with a criminal record.

    p.s. visit

    I am suing many top students for making derogatory remarks. So you not as special as you think.

    Good luck.

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